


The Four F's

by Anonymous



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Anal Sex, Belly Kink, Chubby Goku, Jungian Psychology, M/M, Stuffing, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-03 07:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Seiten Taisei is on a rampage, and Sanzo decides to try a new solution: giving him whatever he wants. Will appealing to the Sage's id appease him, or just cause more problems in the end?Please read the tags.





	1. Id

**Author's Note:**

> This story includes a highly simplified explanation of an aspect of Jungian psychology. I apologize for any inaccuracies or inconsistencies with my interpretation.
> 
> I admit to being inspired by some excellent chubby Goku sketches posted by seitensmut on Tumblr. Goku and overeating seemed like a natural fit, but if stuffing is not your thing, turn back now.

**The Four F's**

**Chapter 1: Id**

Sanzo swore and ducked under the branch swinging back at his head, but stumbled when his boot got tangled in the weeds. He barely caught himself before he stumbled into the underbrush thick with old fallen leaves, and cursed again as a raspy peal of Seiten Taisei's laughter echoed back to him. His voice was fading out, he was still running, the bastard. This was getting old.

Someone had given the youkai around here a memo, likely as follows: get the limiter off, and the rest of the party will become absorbed with trying to get Goku back under control, meaning the sutra would be free and clear.

Idiots. All that would do would give Seiten Taisei a few or a few dozen heads to detach, and leave Sanzo exactly where he was now, chasing the Sage through the underbrush and hoping he could halt his rampage before he got to civilization.

"Fleeing," Sanzo muttered to himself, smirking and sneering to himself at the same time, then caught his breath and tore off in Seiten Taisei's direction again, trying to recall the details of the conversation they'd had in the Jeep...

_"Five times in two weeks they've yanked the fucking limiter off, it's a fucking record." Gojyo was somewhere between derisive and self-deprecating as he kicked his legs out, nudging the back of Hakkai's chair. Hakkai made a small noise of distress, but it was drowned out by Goku's beleaguered moan._

_"You're tellin' me! It's the worst! I hate that guy so much!" He shifted in his seat, face contorting. Sanzo glanced over the edge of the paper, trying to read Goku's expression as he squirmed. "He's nothing but trouble." Goku ducked his head down, as Hakkai clucked from behind the wheel._

_"Now, now. He's not the problem, is he? He's a part of you, Goku." Hakkai paused. "Just like my other side is a part of me." He tittered nervously, then launched swiftly into teacher mode: "Perhaps, by trying to understand the Seiten Taisei side of you, we can figure out an easier way to deal with it when he, er, makes an appearance."_

_"Like what?" Goku leaned around towards Hakkai, looking a little desperate and excited at the same time. Hakkai laughed, his usual “a-ha-ha,” then hummed._

“ _Let's see. What do we know about that side of you?” Hakkai relaxed, letting his gaze drift to the middle distance. Gojyo scoffed from Goku's side._

“ _What's to know? He comes out, he tries to kill everything in sight and laughs like an idiot while doing it.”_

“ _That's something, is it not?” Hakkai laughed again, and Goku huffed and crossed his arms as he sank back. Sanzo cast an eye over him from the front seat. Something had changed about him in the past few weeks, but Sanzo couldn't place it. His attitude certainly had changed._

“ _He's more than that, isn't he?” Goku stuck his lower lip out, and Sanzo cleared his throat._

“ _You cried,” Sanzo muttered. “The first time it happened, you cried and said you were afraid I wasn't coming back.”_

“ _A fear response – and he spoke to you?” Hakkai raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”_

“ _He only seems to react like that in limited situations.” Sanzo pursed his lips. “Situations involving me.”_

“ _No surprise there.” Gojyo grinned and stretched his legs out, nudging the back of Sanzo's seat with his toe. “Pets always get lonely for their keeper.”_

_Sanzo brought the fan down on Gojyo's leg. “Can it.”_

“ _If I may give my observation,” Hakkai interjected, heading off a retort from Gojyo. “The Sage reacts to stimuli on pure instinct. For some reason, his instinct usually seems to be to fight, often because his emergence is accompanied by pain and others trying to attack him.”_

_Goku rubbed his chin in thought, obviously trying very hard. “So, you think that because he usually comes out when someone is trying to hurt him, he tries to hurt back?”_

“ _You're only Seiten Taisei when the limiter gets broken or removed in emergencies.” Sanzo lifted his newspaper again, but kept thinking from behind it. “You took it off to fight Kougaiji. Hakkai took it off when you were... injured. It gets broken when hit hard enough or if you get angry or afraid enough that it shatters. That you react by fighting back shouldn't be a surprise.”_

“ _Animal instinct makes sense.” Gojyo jostled Goku's shoulder, to a grumbled protest. “So, what do we do about it?”_

“ _We consider the other aspects of his instincts.” Hakkai paused to think again. “There's a psychological term that I think fits that side of you well, Goku: the id.”_

“ _Id?” Goku cocked his head._

“ _Yes, in Jungian psychology, the mind is divided into three parts, the ego, superego, and id. The id is the side of the mind driven by instinct, usually tempered by cultural and moralistic protocol from the superego and the balancing drive of the ego. Id seeks to meet the body's most basic needs and drives by any means necessary.” Hakkai glanced to the mirror to catch Gojyo's eye. “Let's say, for example, Gojyo is hungry. His id may drive him to, hypothetically, steal a goat from a market so that he could butcher it for meat.”_

_Gojyo scoffed and muttered something like, 'I told you that story in confidence,' but Hakkai giggled and added, “However, his superego, driven to meet societal expectations, would resist that urge, and the ego would find some balance between them, such as offering to perform work in exchange for money with which to purchase the goat or some other cut of meat. After all, Gojyo's id may forget that he would not know what to do with a live goat.” Gojyo moaned, and Goku snickered, then grinned at Hakkai._

“ _I kinda get it! It's like, when I'm him, I just try to get the stuff I need, or that I think I need!" His brow furrowed all at once, touching his lip in thought. "But how do I know what that is?"_

_"Ah, well." Hakkai tittered into his collar, hands shifting forward on the wheel. "The id generally seeks to satisfy one's basic needs for safety and security, for sustenance, and base happiness. I've generally seen this boiled down to the four F's."_

_Sanzo folded down his paper, as Gojyo and Goku both leaned in with interest. "And what're those?" Gojyo demanded, and Hakkai stifled another nervous laugh._

_"That would be, Fighting, Fleeing, Feeding, and, ah, Fornication."_

_Gojyo snickered, as Goku asked, "What's that last one?"_

_"It's a ten-thousand yuan word for 'fucking.'" Sanzo sniffed, fixing Hakkai with a glare that Hakkai smoothly pretended not to notice._

_"Oh, thanks." Goku rubbed his chin. "So, he comes out and--"_

_"If he feels unsafe or threatened, he will fight for his life or run and hide. If he's hungry, he'll eat. If he desires pleasure, he'll, er, seek pleasure." Hakkai's cheeks had gone a touch pink. "Of course, we've all had to play hide and seek with you before, so he may derive some enjoyment from both fighting and fleeing, and goodness knows you have an appetite, but perhaps if we appeal to your basest nature, we can calm you long enough to suppress him without having to cause you physical harm. In short, if we can satisfy him, give him whatever it is he wants or needs, even if only temporarily, it may be easier to help you regain control."_

_"Huh." Goku bowed his head, obviously thinking as hard as his monkey brain could manage. "Maybe, since he is part of me, I can kind of make him do something other than fight you? I'll just focus really hard on something else he likes!"_

_"What you like, chimpy." Gojyo leaned over, putting his elbow on Goku's head. "So, think about meat buns, maybe he'll go looking for it! Or you could think about Sanzo's dick, and--"_

_"Shut up!" Sanzo and Goku both shouted, Sanzo reaching for his pistol and Goku tackling Gojyo full on in the gut. The two of them broke into a scuffle, Gojyo complaining about how damn heavy Goku was, Hakkai urging the pair of them to stop without turning, and Sanzo quickly loading his pistol to make them stop, and the conversation was over..._

... but not forgotten. Goku had lost the limiter three times in the two weeks since then, the youkai aiming their shots at it or outright knocking it off of him, and it seemed Goku had convinced himself into fleeing. Every time they'd found him since, he'd been curled up sleeping, twice in a ransacked cabin (occupants likely having fled), once in the middle of some wreckage that looked like it may have been some crushed fruit crates and a horse-pulled cart (horse and rider long since gone), making it easy for Sanzo to put the limiter back on him and for Gojyo to carry him back to the Jeep (albeit complaining about how heavy he was). Goku didn't have to deal with any injuries, though he still looked uncomfortable after each event, fidgeting and squirming in his seat and mumbling apologies through cheeks that looked more childish with each pout. Any improvement was an improvement, but if this was going to keep happening, Sanzo had to make it better. This time, he was still running, and Sanzo didn't want to lose sight of him.

They were too close to civilization for that.

Not ten seconds before the youkai attack had started, Hakkai had been saying that they were near a town. Sanzo imagined that despite Goku's desire not to cause harm, he'd likely caused the chaos that Sanzo kept finding him in the aftermath of, and nobody wanted Goku to wreak havoc on the next possible place they were going to find shelter and a hot, fresh meal. Least of all, Goku.

Even if Goku wasn't actively causing anyone harm now, if he did get into civilization or near anyone, he could do some damage he didn't want to do. If Goku was being driven by id, Sanzo was going to play superego and knock some sense back into him.

The problem was, Goku had gotten too far ahead of him when he'd been tripped up, out of sight and earshot, but luckily, he hadn't hidden his tracks, so Sanzo let his hunter's instincts lead him through the thicket to trace his path. Sure enough, all the heavy footprints and broken twigs Sanzo could track led to the crest of a hill overlooking a village, and the road into the village was littered with obvious signs that Seiten Taisei had been through here: dropped laundry baskets, lost geta, a knocked-over fruit cart, and the distant sound of screams. Sanzo followed the trail of dropped clothes and chaos to trace Seiten Taisei, gun in hand so nobody would stop and ask him any stupid questions, until the trail went cold at the door of a dim sum restaurant. Sanzo saw abandoned meals on the tables, and victory sparked through him. He had the idiot cornered!

Sanzo put the gun away, remembering what Hakkai said about the Sage feeling “threatened,” then gently pushed the door open and tiptoed in. He could hear something rattling from one of the rooms in the restaurant, and he edged cautiously around the wall towards the door to the kitchen. He slid each foot one by one, taking each step silently and listening. He quickly figured out what the noise was, because he heard it no less than three times a day: Goku sloppily enjoying a meal. Sanzo found himself smirking: this would be easy.

Sanzo crouched down behind a large cart of steamer baskets that were likely just about to be sent out into the restaurant and leaned around it to see into the galley. He could see Goku's feet, his shoes having been kicked off, and the edge of his shoulder armor. Goku's toes were wiggling and his feet swaying a little as he enjoyed his meal. Sanzo nearly sneered to imagine it, the greedy little sod stuffing his face with wild abandon. He tried to clear his anger as he peered out a little further, forcing calm – it's just a stupid monkey, he reminded himself, one who doesn't know better and needs taming – and finally got sight of Goku.

And oh, what a sight.

Seiten Taisei was settled on his backside in his full fanged and clawed glory, knees splayed out in a diamond in front of him, balanced in a recline with one hand behind him and with a meatbun in his other hand, headed for his mouth. It would have been blessedly normal for Goku, except his glory was, for lack of kinder phrasing, increased. Goku's shirt was riding up his middle, which was noticeably rounder, his mark a little stretched, his chest softened with a neat pat of fat. It hit Sanzo all at once that Goku's cheeks hadn't just looked round before because he'd been pouting, his face had gotten chubbier. Goku had gained weight, and with that meat bun swiftly disappearing into his open mouth, he was completely fine with gaining more.

How the hell had Sanzo not noticed?!

He ducked back behind the cart again, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to think, but it didn't take much: it wasn't like he stared at Goku's body. Not all the time. _Only_ in the communal baths where he wouldn't get caught doing it, and they hadn't been in one of those for a few weeks. Shit, so just the past weeks – that was easy too. The last few times he'd found the Sage, he'd been in the wreckage of a cart, _possibly a cart loaded with peaches before Goku had gotten to it_ , and of a cabin, where Goku had likely taken the opportunity to scarf down everything edible he could find before tiring himself out eating and falling asleep. The god damned id-beast had gone straight from fleeing to _feasting_. No wonder Gojyo had complained about how heavy Goku was. Seiten Taisei had been binging, and nothing was stopping him.

Not even now. Sanzo dared to peek around again to watch. Goku was tucking another meat bun in, not bothering to take his time or even dip it in hoisin, but scarfing it down and licking his fingers, then digging right back into the steamer basket for another. His tongue flicked out to catch a few little crumbles of the fluffy white dough, and he tucked in, humming happily as he took it all in with two enthusiastic chomps, chewed hard, and swallowed. Then, the Sage paused to give his swollen tummy a luxurious, indulgent rub, humming again. Seiten Taisei only looked this happy when he was wrist deep in blood, but when it was this, when he was sating his need for food, there was something nearly ethereal about him. 

Seiten Taisei licked his fingers clean again, groaning his contentment, then stopped, interest roused. Something had caught his attention, but Sanzo realized his mouth was still open from echoing Goku. Goku rolled forward, moving towards him, and Sanzo felt his own instincts roar to life.

First, to get out his gun. He knew that if Goku ever posed a real threat to his life, Goku would rather be ended than kill Sanzo. However, the moment he fingered the trigger, his mind flashed back to the peaceful, contented Seiten Taisei he'd been looking at not thirty seconds ago, then, less helpfully, to the last time someone put a hole in Goku, and the tumult of panic that came with actually watching him fall.

He pushed the gun away. He wasn't going to need it.

Then, he worked his arms out of his robe and got the ties loose at the waist. He had an idea, and it was going to get messy. He was going to give Goku what he wanted.

He could hear Seiten Taisei's claws clicking on the floor, the heavy fall of his knees as he crawled closer, and Sanzo reached for the cart behind him. He seized the first basket his hand could find and threw the lid off.

  
Seiten Taisei sprung out around the corner. Sanzo flung himself back and held out a meat bun in his palm. Seiten Taisei bared his fangs for a moment, but Sanzo pushed his hand up towards him, meat bun extended. 

"Go on, you greedy little shit," he muttered, his gaze tracing the contour of his round belly. "You want to eat, don't you?"

Seiten Taisei emitted a curious rumble from his chest, then licked the meat bun. Sanzo felt the sandpaper-rough flat of his tongue against the side of his hand, but then, the brush of his teeth as the Sage bit down and through the meat bun, clean in half. Sanzo shivered; it felt like a brush with death itself to watch Seiten Taisei placidly eating a treat from his hand, like hand-feeding a mouse to a cobra, or like standing toe-to-toe with a bear with its jaws wide.

Seiten Taisei smiled at him, and a thrill chased Sanzo's tension. Refusing to show his fear, Sanzo offered the rest of the meat bun, and Seiten Taisei ate it off of his palm. Then, he crawled closer, all but lowering himself into Sanzo's lap, his knees splayed over Sanzo's feet, and he pointed at his own mouth. Sanzo could nearly hear Goku saying he was still hungry, could he have the seconds off of Sanzo's plate? Sanzo had never refused him, always making a show of griping about it before pushing his half-empty plate over and calling Goku a greedy monkey. There would be no show this time.

"Eat whatever you want." Sanzo offered another meat bun, which Goku, still grinning with all those sharp teeth, happily bit into.

Give him what he wants, Sanzo reminded himself, as he slowly sat forward and got his legs under him and grabbed a few more of the steamer baskets from the shelf. Goku sat as placidly as he would at a table, if not much more quietly, cross-legged on the ground and practically wagging the tail he might as well have had as he waited for Sanzo to give him another. Sanzo would close his eyes each time that tongue or teeth brushed over his palm, not just out of that tiny notion that he might just bite down this time, but because watching Goku eat was starting to make his chest and stomach feel too tight. He was luxuriant in his gluttony, pausing to lick his lips and fingers, rumbling appreciation between bites, closing his eyes and smiling with pure pleasure. Sanzo could swear he was actually humming atonally, but musically -- had he ever seen Seiten Taisei happy? Goku paused his feast just to adjust himself. His belly was even more full now, lapping the waistband of his pants and rucking his shirt up even further, the pink skin stretched. Seiten Taisei rubbed his belly with his hand, humming again, clearly proud of it. Look, already taking this much and still wanting! It must have been a power trip, and Sanzo was giving him a helping hand.

Without realizing it, Sanzo was reaching for him. He hardly realized he had a hand extended, but Seiten Taisei hadn't flinched, much more interested in eating the next basket of steamed buns. He took a breath, then touched the rounded skin. Goku stilled, those pointed ears twitched, waiting, as if anticipating something. Sanzo instinctively let his hand slide down the curve, pushing in to soothe his swollen gut, then pinching and teasing the softer pats of chub that were gathering around his hips.

That was clearly what he'd wanted. Seiten Taisei purred and poured himself the rest of the way into Sanzo's lap, and Sanzo's heart jumped into his throat, because he was smiling into Sanzo's neck and squirming against him, and _shit_ , he was heavy. Worse, the close contact was a weight of a different kind. “You like that, is that it?” Sanzo tried to push him back, but Goku whined and tried to wriggle back into embrace. Sanzo gripped his shoulders and held him at arm's length. “What do you want, food or – this?” He caressed Goku's soft sides again, and Goku whimpered and crossed his arms, hitting Sanzo with a much fiercer iteration of his usual puppy eyes. There was no saying no here. Not to him.

Thank fuck, Sanzo wanted less and less to say no. Goku wanted food and attention, he'd get it.

“Greedy little shit,” he repeated, but he couldn't keep the affection out of it. “Fine. You can sit in my lap.”

Goku didn't need to be told twice, settling his hips into the crook of Sanzo's legs. Sanzo took a moment to assess what lay before him: one fine, plump little ass, a perfect heart shape with cushion to boot. The curve of his ass fit against his hips, tender flesh that gave so easily at a touch. Sanzo gave his backside a caress, then a squeeze, then lifted another meat bun to Goku's mouth. Goku accepted, and Sanzo felt heat curl through him as his rough tongue laved up Sanzo's palm and fingers. As Goku swallowed, his throat working against Sanzo's fingertips, he rutted back into the join of Sanzo's legs. Sanzo had to suppress a groan, as his dick, despite his insistence that this was for Goku, throbbed with want for that fantastic ass, those red lips, for Goku.

Goku was right in front of him, and Sanzo was having trouble denying that the Sage was a gorgeous animal. All the smooth, taut skin, even filled and fat, felt good to touch, warm, soft, welcoming. The Sage even squirmed and made happy little noises as Sanzo touched and rubbed his swollen belly. The deeper Goku settled against him, every time he felt his lips and tongue against his fingers, the deeper he felt intoxicated by need and want. His own id was starting to talk at him now, but he tried to wall it back, tried to focus on what he was supposed to do. 

“You like this, don't you? This is what you want, right? Needy brat.” He helped push the last bit of the bun in his hand between Goku's lips, then ran his other palm up Goku's filled belly, then down his side to his hip, pressing in as he did. Goku really _didn't_ have a limit; his gut still had give, taut but not completely stuffed. Goku, however, moaned and squirmed, then twisted his arms down to the waistband of his jeans. “Are they tight? You want to take them off?” Goku growled and snarled, working furiously at the button, but – oh, the claws, he couldn't work it or hadn't figured out how. Sanzo reached around, but stopped as his thumb crossed over the Sage's to touch his waistband. “Let me take it off.”

The Sage looked over his shoulder, a frown creasing his brow, cheeks sucked in, but he withdrew his hand. Sanzo popped the button loose, then rubbed the tight, angry little crease he could feel had formed where Goku's burgeoning belly had been pressed against the waistband, then used both hands to massage the tender skin. “Pretty full, huh?” Shit, he was understating. There was no way a human could pack this much away and live to tell the tale. Goku twisted around in his lap and faced Sanzo, eyes wide and filled with something like want, something like surprise, and something like hunger. Sanzo gave his hip a caress, forcing serenity as he tried to puzzle out what the Sage wanted now. Those claws were still there, still sharp, and Sanzo still couldn't anticipate what he was going to do. Then, Goku settled back down in his lap, straddling Sanzo's waist now and smirking with mischief. He pointed behind Sanzo at one of the pink steamer baskets, the ones Sanzo knew to be filled with peach buns.

“You want dessert? Greedy little – fine.” Give him what he wants, Sanzo reminded himself. “And I suppose you want me to hand feed you?”

Goku answered with a heavy rut of his hips against Sanzo's lap and a suggestive smirk. Sanzo swallowed thickly, but grabbed one of the pink baskets and opened it. The cloying scent of the sticky peach puree struck both of them, and Goku keened with eagerness as Sanzo pulled one of the plump, doughy buns from the basket and put it to Goku's lips. Goku opened wide and bit down, taking it in carefully, and Sanzo watching with silent, desperate admiration as his pink lips closed around the pale curve of the bun, as his tongue darted out to flick at the red center, as his throat worked around the sweet treat. Despite the obvious relief releasing his waistband had given him, it was even more apparent that going on eating was hard now. He was just getting tired from being so full. Sanzo gave Goku's belly, which now had forced his shirt up to the breastbone and hung heavy over his thighs, a tender rub, but eased the next bite into his mouth. Goku took it, whining only a little as he chewed and swallowed. His clawed hand scrabbled at his full tummy, even as Sanzo pushed the last bite of the peach bun in and steadied him by the shoulder.

“Is it too much?” Sanzo rubbed the other side of his belly. He felt full now, the skin taut, stretched: no give. He ran his fingers into Goku's hair, and Goku grumbled but rubbed his scalp to Sanzo's palm, then crawled a little closer. “Full?” Without realizing, he'd slid his hand down Goku's back. Goku nodded, and blinked slowly, his eyelids weighted. Then, Goku rested his head in the crook of Sanzo's neck and shoulder, and Sanzo forgot completely that he was looking at the Sage, and saw only Goku.

Then, he felt the Sage's lips curl into a smirk against his bare shoulder, and Goku rutted against him again. Sanzo felt that he was hard through his tight, strained boxers. Goku sat up a little and tugged on the armholes of Sanzo's shirt, then reached for the hem. Sanzo tried to smack his hands away, but the motion of jerking himself upwards only rubbed his answering erection against the bottom of Goku's thigh. Goku grinned, seeming to catch a second wind, and he thrust his dick against the join of Sanzo's legs, keening with pleasure again.

There was the last F. “You want to fuck? Now?” Sanzo gritted his teeth together, annoyance as subterfuge for insecurity. Seiten Taisei lifted his head, sleepy but with a wicked smirk, and he rolled his hips again, slowly this time. Sanzo seized him by the waist and held him. “No, stop.” Goku jawed unhappily, bouncing impatiently, but he stopped and groaned, hugging his full middle. “What did I tell you, dumb ass?” Sanzo sighed, but pushed Goku's hair back. “If we're going to...” He lifted his eyes just enough to take in Goku's pouting face, to slick his tousled, wild hair back from his face and then trace his ear. “Let me do the work.”

He would take care of Goku, if that was what he wanted. He couldn't even say that wasn't what he wanted, either.

He sealed his mouth over the Sage's for a kiss, tasting sweet peach and Goku, but used the distraction to slide himself out from under Goku and work Goku down onto his hands and knees. He seemed to be weighed low when Sanzo got him there, and complained when Sanzo broke the kiss, but Sanzo ran his hand down his spine and to the cleft of his ass. He teased at it with his fingers, and stroked Goku's hair with his other hand. “Stay like this.” He shifted around behind Goku and found a bit of cooking oil on another shelf. At least it wasn't artificially scented, Sanzo thought with a roll of his eyes, and poured just a little onto his fingers. He worked Goku's boxers down his thighs and slipped a slicked finger in. Goku answered with a little whimper, but pushed back against Sanzo's hand. Sanzo muffled a groan, his dick throbbing with want, and he worked his other hand down to shove his pants down past his hips and wrapped his fingers around his shaft. He pumped himself a few times in time with gentle strokes into Goku's hole, before adding a second finger. Goku pounded one fist on the tile at the insertion, but the growl he released was loaded with pleasure and impatience. “Wait, you bastard, you're not ready.” He pressed in deep until Goku cried out a little, and Sanzo felt him relax completely around his digits. Goku complained again, and Sanzo capitulated, withdrawing his fingers.

“Stay,” he murmured, and rested both hands on Goku's plump hips. Goku whined, but Sanzo slid his hand down and around under Goku's pendulous belly to his stiff, hot cock, and wrapped his fingers around it for a slow stroke as he slid his dick into Goku's hole. Goku cried out, but Sanzo stopped when he bottomed out and held himself there for a few moments, breathless at the heat and pressure that surrounded him. Goku seemed to be drawing him in, pulling him deeper even though he was at the hilt. Goku turned his cry into a complaint, and Sanzo hushed him. “Wait, idiot.” Goku whined again, and Sanzo pulled out, then rocked back in. Goku cooed approval, bracing himself and pushing back. Sanzo growled to himself, heat flashing through him, and rocked against Goku a few more times. He stroked Goku in time with his thrusts as he sped up, driven helplessly on by Goku's moans of pleasure, his flaring heat.

“You like that, huh?” He pressed in deep, pushing the head of his dick into his sweet spot, and Goku cried out, then snarled. “You like getting fucked hard, is that it?” He pushed in, bracing himself on Goku's hips hard enough to bruise the soft flesh. Goku didn't complain, he just clawed at the floor, growling and keening his desperation. Sanzo groaned, his balls seizing up tight, and he forced himself to hold on just a little longer.

He knew Goku could handle anything he had to give, so he could let his own id run wild and fuck him without abandon. He had needs too. Goku's weight and power let him hold firm against vicious thrusts and wild ruts, let him cry his enjoyment at them, and Sanzo could give him that.

Even though Goku wasn't talking back. Wasn't telling Sanzo what he wanted, just growling and roaring back to match Sanzo's goads. He preferred the Goku who moaned his name in the shower, who begged him “harder, faster,” the id he knew instead of the Sage he still barely understood.

Sanzo paused long enough to kiss Goku's shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on his swollen belly. Goku whimpered in response, and Sanzo tried to imagine him whispering his name. Then he bit the back of his neck, wrapped an arm around the fullest part of his middle, and thrust in hard. He matched his thrust with firm strokes to Goku's dick, and Goku cried out, spurting warmth onto Sanzo's hand. His body squeezed Sanzo tight, and Sanzo gave up the ghost and let himself come into Goku's heat, white light and stars flooding his vision.

The next thing he knew, he was coming down from a dizzy spell, still sheathed in Goku, but Goku was complaining now, arms shaking. Sanzo withdrew, and Goku fell flat onto his front. Sanzo rolled him to his back, cleaned both Goku and himself off with a dishtowel, and pulled Goku's head onto his thigh. His fingers shook as he ran them through Goku's long hair, and the Sage blinked sleepily up at him, smiling with the same peaceful mien as his Goku might.

“Sanzo,” the Sage rasped, contentment loaded behind the word, and Sanzo bent down and kissed his forehead.

“Happy?” He tousled his hair, tangling it into his fingers. The Sage nodded, and Sanzo bowed his head. “Good.” He felt Goku relax against him, but as he fell asleep, he covered Goku's forehead with a sweat-damp hand and muttered the incantation, summoning the limiter back. Seiten Taisei dissolved back into Goku with a shimmer of suppressing magic, the claws and teeth shrinking, the hair somehow sinking back into his normal messy style. The evidence of his binge, the empty baskets scattered around the kitchen, the crumbs and mess on the ground, and Goku's full belly, did not go away. Sanzo groaned to himself.

“Guess that's one way to deal with your other half.” He pressed on Goku's stomach, finding it still taut and full. Goku smiled in his sleep, cupping the swell for himself, and Sanzo looked up and cast his eyes around the mess. He had a lot of explaining to do, both to some soon-to-be-livid restaurant owners and to Goku himself. “Now we just have to deal with the way we deal with you.”


	2. Superego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Seiten Taisei's binge, Goku has to re-adapt and adjust to the outcome of following his instincts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 9/3! I thought I'd ruin this lovely holiday by finishing this story. Enjoy!

**2: Superego**

He felt kind of floaty and kind of heavy at the same time, but warm and content, like he was wrapped in a comfy blanket. He opened his eyes slowly to see he was in the back of the Jeep, and the blue skies were zooming overhead. He smiled, licked his dry lips, and stretched his arms overhead.

“That was one awesome nap!” He sighed with satisfaction, until he heard Gojyo snicker beside him.

“This idiot thinks he was napping.” Gojyo elbowed him in the side, hard, and Goku whipped around to glare at him. Gojyo was just smirking, though Goku could see Gojyo's gaze surveying him, up and down. “So, welcome back to the land of the living. You've been out a day and a half.”

“Whoa, seriously?” Goku ran his fingers through his hair – ugh, it did feel kind of greasy. “Wait, weren't we like right on top of a town? Why didn't we stop? I'm _starving_!”

Goku felt the Jeep brake, and Hakkai and Sanzo both turned around, Hakkai raising an eyebrow warily, Sanzo's expression unreadable. Hakkai carefully unbuckled his seatbelt. “Are you?”

Goku furrowed his brow. “Am I what?”

Gojyo snorted and folded his arms. “Are you actually hungry?” He flicked Goku's shirt. “Or do you just think you are 'cause you always are?”

Goku found himself outright frowning now. “Well, yeah, I'm always...” He trailed off as it registered that right now, _no, he wasn't._ Also, his shirt felt really funny. Tight. He reached down to adjust it, only to realize it was tight, stretched tight around him.

He'd grown a tummy. Goku felt the blood drain from his face, and he pinched at the round roll. Oh, crap, he knew he'd been getting chubby but this was new. “Wha--”

“Yeah, so you remember that Four F's thing we were talking about?” Gojyo grinned lasciviously, then poked Goku's belly, eliciting a yelp. “Turns out, that guy has a favorite.”

“The Seiten Taisei has been binge-eating whenever he gets a chance to come out,” Hakkai explained, and Goku noticed Sanzo shifting uncomfortably, before stiffening to stone when Hakkai touched his shoulder. “Sanzo was able to catch up with you. You, er, reached town, broke into a restaurant, scared off all of the customers, and ate every dumpling in the kitchen until you fell asleep.”

Goku moaned, scraping his fingers down his headband and over his face. He could feel his cheeks were thicker. Damn it, he'd thought he was gaining weight, his pants pinching his hips a little, but now he could feel that his jeans were just plain unzipped and everything else was too tight! He'd had no idea. “How long you think he's been doing this?”

“A couple weeks, easy,” Sanzo muttered. “We did the math, he's packed five kilos on you since the last time you got weighed.”

“Felt like more,” Gojyo volunteered with a smirk. “Holding your fat ass on the scale – damn, monkey, you're gonna end up in my weight class, and I'm all muscle, no meat buns!”

“Shut up!” Goku snapped, but he heard Sanzo echo it.

“It's not something he wanted to do,” Hakkai said, and Gojyo shrunk down at the clear scold in his usually mild timbre. Hakkai knit his brow up a little when he looked to Goku again. “We were ejected from the town when it was revealed we were connected to you, as you did cause a fair bit of mischief and expense--”

“You ate like twelve full-course dim sum meals!” Gojyo broke in again, grinning madly. “Sanzo paid for it all, but seriously, you're lucky you didn't bust a seam!”

There was a click as Sanzo leveled his pistol at Gojyo's head and cocked back the hammer. Gojyo quickly threw both hands up and muttered something about gun safety, and Sanzo didn't tear his eyes from Gojyo, fixing him with a glower, as he told Hakkai, “Finish the explanation and get back in gear.”

“Yes, yes,” Hakkai sighed, as if Gojyo weren't being shaken down, and looked back to Goku. “We were forced to move along after a very quick and minimalist resupply, but fortunately, there's another town not too far off, and none of us are too badly injured despite having survived yet another romp with Seiten Taisei.” Hakkai cast a shadow of his usual smile and patted Goku's knee. “So, everything is alright, just...” He trailed off, swallowing as if something bitter were on his tongue but he was just too polite to spit it out. Goku didn't want to think about what he was going to say, but luckily, he didn't have to.

Fate always seemed to intervene at the exact right time. This time, Fate intervened with a shout of, “It's them! The Sanzo party!” and a gaggle of youkai who thought they had a chance cresting the hill and running towards them. Sanzo put his gun up and pointed it towards something he would actually shoot.

“Not dying now, pointless conversation later!”

Goku rolled out of the Jeep and jumped to his feet, and actually felt his weight for the first time. He'd been feeling heavier, but this was drastic and it actually felt a little good. He felt more solid, and when he summoned his nyoi-bo, the swing came harder. He grinned to himself, and launched into the fray.

"Time to throw my weight around!"

He didn't hear whatever Gojyo's nasty retort was, too absorbed in swinging his way through a crowd of idiots who had obviously decided today was a good day to get their skulls bashed in.

It was over in five minutes flat, but for Goku, flat was about right. He was on his back, holding his squishy belly and panting for air harder than he'd ever remembered having to, and he knew that this shouldn't have been more than a warm up. He'd never been more grateful for a cool breeze when Sanzo brought it with him in the folds of his robe, nor for water than when Sanzo poured it onto his mouth. Sanzo studied him keenly from above, face cast in shadow against the beaming afternoon sun.

"Took a little extra effort, did it?"

Goku winced, though Sanzo had managed to make the question sound light. He wasn't trying to be mean for once, because the truth was hard enough. "Yeah, uh, guess I'm not used to the extra weight."

"You're not exactly in fighting shape," Gojyo sneered, and mopped his brow. "I kept count on who dropped how many, and you're falling behind, short stack."

"Shut up!"

"Goku." Hakkai sighed, sagging a little against the hood of the Jeep. "What he's saying is unkind, but he's right. Sanzo's right. You yourself just said it, and you're right -- you're not as effective of a fighter with the extra weight."

Goku sat up as quickly as he could, keenly feeling the way his gut squished into the waistband of his pants. "Yeah, well, kicking youkai ass is a great workout, I'll be fine again in no time flat!" He slammed his fist into his open hand, but Hakkai sighed.

"If that were true, you wouldn't have gained the weight at all." He strolled over and crouched by Goku. "This is clearly the result of several binges over the past few weeks, and it's not as if we've been fighting less youkai, have we?" His false smile felt more shallow than ever, and if Goku had tried to dive into the notion that Hakkai was actually being kind, he would break a lot of bones on the very hard reality beneath. "I'm going to put you on a diet for the next few weeks to help you shed some of the excess. We'll have to curtail the Seiten Taisei's binges, too. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's for the best."

Goku winced, but hung his head. "I don't get a say in it?"

"We like your head attached to your body, chunky monkey. You gotta be able to keep up in a fight." Gojyo ruffled his hair, and Goku hunched down to try and evade his touch. "We can jog together, too, before we set out and stuff. Come on, think you can keep up with these long, sexy legs of mine?"

Goku kicked one leg out into Gojyo's knee and sent Gojyo stumbling, then pounced on his prone body. "See how sexy they are when I'm done with 'em!" He wrestled with Gojyo, shouting and arguing in pretend at their usual playful romps as Hakkai tried to mollify them and Sanzo shot his pistol off in the air, and Goku tried to hide just how much things hurt.

Because unlike the few hits he took in the fight and Gojyo's lame punches, this actually kind of hurt.

He'd let himself run wild, like that id thing Hakkai had talked about, this wasn't his fault. Even so, his friends were looking down on him and quashing those instincts, and suddenly, Sanzo wouldn't even look at him.

* * *

The town wasn't too far off, thankfully, and the first inn they encountered even had two rooms available. Hakkai volunteered to room with Gojyo (likely in hopes of keeping Gojyo from teasing Goku all night) and dragged him off to help with the shopping (likely as punishment for teasing him earlier), and Sanzo suddenly made himself scarce for the sake of a shower. Goku would have loved to go with him (he was all sweaty and really wanted to see the business end of a soap bar), he didn't think having a minute or two alone with his thoughts would be the worst thing in the world.

Besides, if Sanzo wasn't looking at him, there were no hopes Sanzo would catch a glimpse of him in the shower and demand a closer look.

He'd waited so long for Sanzo to acknowledge things, that Goku was an adult capable of making his own decisions, that Sanzo was no longer his guardian, that Goku was attracted to and attractive to him. Goku was still working on Sanzo acknowledging that his feelings for him were more than attraction, but he could be patient. He'd been patiently admiring Sanzo for a long time, and while it had taken being physically separated and reunited for Sanzo to see that his feelings had changed from adoring ward to adoring beau, he could wait a little longer for Sanzo to accept that someone just might love him in all of his cranky, grouchy, aloof glory.

But if Goku lost the "attractive to Sanzo" part of that angle, he might be wasting his time.

There was a mirror in the water closet, and if Goku stood against the back wall, he could see himself from the top of his head to the tops of his thighs and ...

Well, he'd known he woke up chubby. He'd been waking up chubby, his pants feeling tighter, his shirts a little less baggy, but this was a pretty big change.

"How much did Gojyo say he ate again?" Goku tapped his limiter, glowering up towards the crown and the tiny ring of gold just in his field of vision. "Why would you do that?! I was probably hungry but I probably wasn't that hungry!"

His thighs were thick and touched a lot more than they used to, and it definitely didn't all feel like muscle. Plump and squishy. It actually felt kind of nice. He turned a little, and saw that the weight had spread up to his butt, too, rounding it out. It was still firm, but it had give. Maybe sitting on logs would be easier with the extra cushion.

Goku poked his cheeks and chin and found them softer, rounder than he was used to. He'd once heard Sanzo say to someone he had dumpling cheeks, but the road had hollowed them down, or at least hewn them into shape. Not so much anymore. His arms were thicker too, a little meatier.

Still, the biggest change had to be the round little Buddha belly lapping the waistband of his too-tight boxers. Goku prodded it a little, exploring it with his fingers, feeling worse and worse with every inch he pinched. He'd never been bony like Hakkai, or even cut with muscle like Gojyo, and he'd never especially wanted washboard abs, but whatever shape he'd been in was out the window and down the hole like, apparently, twelve full-course dim sum meals.

Goku had never thought fat was a bad thing. It was just a thing that some people were, for whatever reason. Girls and guys with a little more to squeeze were just as cute as the skinny ones Goku could crush with one enthusiastic hug, and he never saw anything wrong with heavy people. As long as they were happy with themselves, it didn't matter to Goku what a person looked like, and he often thought the same about himself. As long as he was reasonably clean, his clothes were in okay shape, and he could smile, then he was perfectly good to look at. He didn't even think he'd mind if his appetite ever caught up with him and filled him in a little, not that he'd thought that could happen.

He'd never thought about what anyone else might think of him.

He knew fat people got grief for being fat. He knew fat people were supposed to diet. Gojyo could be a superficial jerk all he wanted, and sure, maybe Hakkai was just looking out for his health, but Sanzo had barely said anything to him. Sanzo wasn't looking at him. Sanzo probably thought he was disgusting like this. Sanzo wouldn't want to touch him, wouldn't want to look at him, wouldn't fall for Goku's coy smile in the shower and fuck him on the stall bench. Why would someone as beautiful as Sanzo be interested in a chubby dumpling like him?

There was a knock on the door, and Goku jumped a foot. "Hey, monkey, hurry it up, I need a piss." Sanzo sounded impatient. "Hakkai left you some clean clothes, but grab a robe and go shower before dinner."

Robe. Right. Why would Sanzo want to see his naked body when this was what his naked body looked like? Goku pouted and traced the curve of his belly, before looking in the mirror one more time.

He didn't remember when he'd started to cry, but he smeared the tears away, buttoned his lower lip, and grabbed the bathrobe from the shelf and threw it on before trudging out of the bathroom. Sanzo had already settled onto his bed with the newspaper unfolded in front of him, and just like Goku thought, he didn't even look up when Goku walked out.

Goku wished he could melt into a puddle of fat and melt through the floorboards if it meant nobody would see him like this.

* * *

Hakkai had only gotten Goku two spare sets of clothes, anticipating getting him back into his previous size quickly, and he threw a new tunic and pair of denims on before meeting the other's at the restaurant across the street from the inn. Wearing the bigger clothes didn't feel good like wearing new clothes usually did, but at least he didn't feel where his new chub was rubbing the seams like he had in his tight clothes. Not being distracted by shifting to find a position where he couldn't feel how much bigger he was gave him plenty of time to browse the menu, picking out all the things he wanted to eat and eliminating the ones he didn't. After all, he was supposed to be on a diet, and that meant eating less, so not ordering one of everything was a good start!

He was still browsing when their waitress showed up, but he figured he'd picked enough. Sanzo and Gojyo ordered, but when the waitress turned to Goku, Hakkai cleared his throat.

"He will be having the Buddha's Delight, no sauce, and green tea, and I will have the same."

Goku's jaw dropped as Hakkai gingerly pried the menu from his fingers and handed it to the waitress, and she left without giving Goku a chance to speak for himself. Hakkai, however, smiled diplomatically. "It really is a lovely dish, Goku; it's a delight, like I said."

"Oh?" Gojyo smirked, leaning over the table with interest. "You put him on a diet then feed him some sort of delight? That sounds like a dessert."

"It's a well-balanced meal." Hakkai sat back, but patted Goku's shoulder. "You'll like it."

"I like everything," Goku mumbled, but nobody seemed to hear him, least of all Sanzo, who'd brought his newspaper to the table and sat resolutely ignoring their conversation.

Goku fidgeted under the current of Hakkai and Gojyo's conversation, feeling his stomach grumble a little at the food smells all around them, trying not to feel the pins and needles pricking down his spine as he wondered what he had coming. When the meals arrived, the waitress set a plate down before him unlike anything he'd ever seen:

"This is all veggies." Goku gaped and picked through the plate with his chopsticks. "Plain steamed veggies." Hakkai clicked his tongue.

"Vegetables, mushrooms, firm tofu – ah, and even lotus seeds, they appear to have a complete repertoire!" He turned to Sanzo, smiling as if this were a novelty rather than a horror to Goku. "Do you know that all of the vegetables used in a traditional Buddha's Delight have some significant symbolism in Buddhism?"

"But..." Goku couldn't stop from pouting. "No sauce, either? Just steamed veggies?"

"Ah." Hakkai retrieved the soy sauce bottle and poured a measured amount into a small dish. "Here, you may have this much." The waitress returned with bowls of rice, but Hakkai promptly took Goku's right as she set it down. "Ah, and we'll portion this, too. You may have this much." Hakkai gave Goku about a third of the bowl, then put the bowl as far away from Goku on the table as possible. Goku knew he looked like a fish gaping for air as he watched Hakkai take food away from him.

"But... I'm hungry."

"And the vegetables will help fill and satisfy you."

"I'm hungry for meat and rice, though!" Goku clenched his fists, even as Gojyo snickered about "baby monkey throwing a tantrum." Hakkai pursed his lips.

"Goku, you will have meat and rice, but in measured portions, and sauces add extra sugars, carbohydrates, and fats, so you must portion how much of that you consume too. A healthy diet is about control, not excess."

Gojyo just had to start: "Since you got plenty of excess already, right?"

Hakkai whipped around to face him. "Gojyo, I had thought our prior discussion in this regard would be sufficient."

Goku heard Gojyo start griping back, but he could only stare at what Hakkai was putting in front of him, and now his stomach was growling louder. He didn't want this, he just wanted to be happy and eat the things that made him happy and _be what he was_ without having to feel so terrible about it. It had never mattered how he ate before, why did it matter now?

“Hakkai,” Sanzo growled suddenly, flipping the corner of his newspaper down. “Tone it down on the diet. Let him ease into it. Rome wasn't built in a day.”

Hakkai frowned, sitting back a little, then forward. “Yes, but the workers laid bricks every hour. It's best to go full bore, since the most dramatic weight loss will occur with something of a shock. I know it seems extreme, but--”

“Drawing attention to it is going to demotivate him.” Sanzo slammed the paper down and folded his arms. “You and Gojyo have been giving him shit all afternoon. This situation was beyond his control, and--”

Goku spoke without realizing he was going to: “You don't think I can do it?” He stood up, knocking the table back and tipping his soy sauce over. “I'm gonna get back into shape and be skinny again, damn it! Then you guys can like me again and stop treating me like dirt 'cause _that guy_ eats when he's hungry and I gotta pay the price for it!” He kicked his chair back. “I'm not even hungry, anyway!” He stormed off, face hot and tight. He felt too big for his own skin, like ten pounds of garbage in a two pound bag.

He knew that the others would respect him if he could just be two pounds of garbage in a two pound bag again. He would just have to be miserable until then.

If he was being honest with himself, he knew he'd still feel like garbage because that was how Sanzo thought of him.

* * *

Goku ran circles around the town until his legs felt like gelatin and his lungs burned from the inside out. It had gotten dark and cold, but Goku could see well enough when his eyes adjusted and he stopped feeling the cold through the sweat that rolled down his back and sides. The inn lobby was empty when Goku got back, which was fine with him. Nobody could talk crap at him for grabbing a towel and going back for a second shower.

The water was cold this time of night, but Goku didn't care. He kept poking and patting at the thicker spots on his body, wondering if he'd starved or burned any of it off yet so his friends would like him again.

Gojyo and Hakkai's room had the “do not disturb” tag hung and no light from under the door, but Goku could hear them talking very quietly through the door. There was no light on in his and Sanzo's room either, but Goku really preferred that thought. If Sanzo couldn't see him, he wouldn't have to look at him. He pulled the bathrobe a little tighter around his chest, but unlocked the door and shuffled in, trying as hard as he could to keep quiet and make himself small.

The main light wasn't on, but Sanzo's bedside lamp was, and he was sitting on the edge of the bed with a different newspaper. However, he folded the paper down as Goku stepped in. “Shut and lock the door.”

Goku flinched, but did so. “Didn't mean to disturb ya, San--”

“Shut up and come over here.” Sanzo shoved the paper away and glowered at Goku, and Goku could feel his gaze burning on the side of his face as he circled around the bed to stand in front of Sanzo, clutching the bathrobe a little tighter around his chest, but Sanzo slapped his hands. “Stop that.”

Goku bit his lip. After spending all day longing for Sanzo to look at him, now his attention chafed. “I'm gross like this, right? I'm no good to the party and I'm gross 'cause I'm fat so--”

“Don't put words in my mouth.” Sanzo narrowed his eyes, then reached down next to him. “You have to eat something, and while Hakkai wrapped your dinner – including _all_ of the rice and the sauce on the side – he's put it in the cooler already and Jeep's asleep.” He brought up a small box that smelled faintly of ginger and garlic. “You can eat that tomorrow. This is to tide you over until breakfast.”

Goku found himself scowling. “I'm not hungry?”

“You're not?” Sanzo raised an eyebrow, and Goku's stomach growled. His face fell.

“ _Starving_.”

Sanzo opened the box, revealing a parcel of cold meat buns. “I spoke to Hakkai. While it is true you should lose the weight, a diet shouldn't be a punishment for something beyond your control.” He held a meat bun out to Goku, flat in his palm, but Goku could only gawp at it, caught between wanting to stuff it in his face and worry over what Sanzo would think of him. “Hakkai is just concerned for your health and being overenthusiastic, and Gojyo...” Sanzo rolled his eyes. “He's worried about you and dealing with his own discomfort by being an idiot.”

“And what about you?” Goku forced himself to take a step back and folded his arm tight. “You've barely even talked to me all day.”

Sanzo cocked his brow. “And since when is me being quiet anything new? I don't feel the need to fill every spare second with noise like some chattering monkeys.”

Goku tried to meet Sanzo's eyes, but now he was feeling tight and uncomfortable through the chest. “You won't even look at me. I get it.” He let his face drop and clutched his fingers in the edge of the bathrobe again. “You're beautiful and skinny and pick at food like you don't want it, and then there's me, goin' wild and eating everything in sight--”

Sanzo cupped Goku's chin and ran his thumb up the cleft and over his lower lip. “And I've always been one for appearances, have I?” Goku shivered a little as Sanzo's hand rubbed over the contour of his cheek. “I won't lie and say I don't like the way you look normally, but I'm fine with you looking like this.” When he drew his hand away, he left a trail of goosebumps down Goku's neck. “Eat. It doesn't matter how heavy you are, I want you to nourish yourself.”

That sealed it. Goku took the meat bun from Sanzo's hand and scarfed it down, feeling hungrier than even he'd thought. Sanzo moved aside on the bed and motioned for Goku to sit, and pushed another meat bun into his hand as soon as he finished the first. “It's alright,” he muttered in an oddly soothing tone. “It's alright for you to be heavy. My only concern is that it'll be harder for you to keep up in a fight, but if you think you can do it, I won't force the issue.”

“I'm fine with losing weight,” Goku mumbled through a mouthful as he devoured the second meat bun and started on the third without even realizing Sanzo had passed it to him, dripping with a gingery, garlicky sauce that made Goku's mouth water a little more when it touched his tongue. Goku ended up eating it faster than he would have liked, barely aware of Sanzo observing his every bite and the way he licked his lips. “Just...” He wiped the sauce from his mouth, and glanced away from Sanzo again. “I don't mind being like this either. I just need to get used to it, that's all.”

“Mm.” Sanzo put the entire box of meat buns where Goku could reach it, his gaze flicking between Goku's hand as he reached for one and his mouth as he took the first bite. “Our enemies won't wait for you to get used to it. So, I'll ask you to lose the weight for now, but one of these days, we won't be fighting for survival, and you can eat all the meat buns you like. Hell.” He rolled his eyes again, as if he weren't keenly affixed to every bite Goku was taking. “You'll probably be celebrated the entire road back with feasts.”

“Yeah, but I fill up. That guy doesn't.” Goku swallowed again, then looked right to Sanzo. “I don't think I like losing control. I like being able to balance it.”

“Too much of anything can be bad.” Sanzo was even and serious, and somehow, that shored Goku up completely. “At the same time, denying yourself something you enjoy is pointless. Life is hard enough. You might as well enjoy as much as you can in your life, as long as you're not hurting yourself.”

“Yeah. Makes sense.” Goku took another meat bun and tucked in, but now, he was well aware that Sanzo was watching him. “Hey, Sanzo?”

“Mm?”

“You... you found me after the last time he got let out, right?” He knit his brow up, studying Sanzo's face. Sanzo was stiff, then gave a curt nod. “Did you find me before I ate all the meat buns, or after?”

Sanzo made an uncomfortable noise like he'd been stung, and turned his eyes from Goku. “Why are you asking stupid questions?”

“'Cause I wanna know!” Goku twisted around, grinning at Sanzo as he shifted uncomfortably. Sanzo's avoidance, however, made the answer obvious. “Did you watch me do it? Is that how you figured out what happ--”

“Goku.” Sanzo hit Goku with a heavy look, and Goku licked his lips again even though there was no sauce on them. “I did find you in the restaurant while you were binging. I supervised you to make sure you didn't hurt yourself or anyone else.” He paused, and flicked his gaze to his lap. “I had intended on that, anyway, but then you found me.” He narrowed his eyes a little, mouth wrought in a sly little smile, and Goku knew that gleam of lust in his gaze. “And it turns out that after a good meal, your id was interested in that fourth F too.”

“No way. You mean you actually – with him?!” Goku gaped, not sure if he should be relieved that Sanzo had gotten busy with him post-binge, or jealous that he had no memory of it. "Even though..." Sanzo nodded.

“You said I hadn't looked at you? Idiot. If I had, I wouldn't be able to look away.” He cupped Goku's cheek and slowly caressed his rounded face. “Finish eating.”

Goku's heart jumped into his chest, and he went for the next meat bun. Sanzo beat him to it, holding it out in his palm, and Goku somehow knew Sanzo wanted him to eat it out of his hand. He held Sanzo's wrist in place and bit into the meat bun, leaning over into his lap and letting his round belly brush Sanzo's thigh. Sanzo strangled a little noise as Goku ate the entire dumpling from his hand and licked the sauce from his palm. His breathing had picked up, heart kicking even quicker than it had been after the fight, and Sanzo's next exhale was shaky. Goku sucked a drip of sauce off of the tip of Sanzo's middle finger, then asked, breathless, “Is there more?”

“Last one.” Sanzo twisted to grab it for Goku, and Goku crawled into his lap and straddled his legs, knees on the edge of the bed, and Sanzo had to lean back to give Goku space, wide-eyed as Goku lowered his hips to brush over the join of Sanzo's legs. Sanzo had to stifle a groan as he held out the meat bun. “Goku...”

Goku bit into the meat bun and rolled his hips again, and Sanzo couldn't stop a lustful noise that time. This seemed a little familiar, especially when Sanzo's hand slid up his thigh over the bathrobe, then braced Goku's hip and traced his belly with his fingertips. That just made Goku chew and swallow a little faster – give Sanzo more to touch, more of him to enjoy. He licked Sanzo's palm and fingers clean, sucking each finger as Sanzo's other hand slid back to knead his asscheek. Lust burned bright in Sanzo's eyes now, blazing more with each lick and suck, sparking when Goku dragged his teeth up Sanzo's fingers. No more playing around. Goku released Sanzo's hand but dove in and captured Sanzo's mouth instead, and sucked on his tongue, hard and demanding.

Sanzo was panting when Goku released him, but Goku made him suck in air with a whisper of, “Sanzo, want you to fuck me, too.”

Sanzo swore under his robe and yanked his robe from his shoulders and unzipped his pants, and Goku untied his bathrobe. He hesitated for a split second, then peeled it loose, revealing naked, gleaming curves and a hard-on Goku had barely felt coming. His belly actually looked full again, round and a little tight, but it felt so nice when Sanzo gave it an admiring rub, then gazed into his eyes with fervor and passion he couldn't hide. “All this power couldn't have stayed in such a compact form.”

“Yeah?” Goku grinned. “How about a taste of that power?” He kissed Sanzo again on the mouth and rutted his dick against Sanzo's erection where it sprang free of his fly. Sanzo made a scolding noise into Goku's mouth and shoved his pants down past his hips where the zipper wouldn't scrape Goku's thighs, but Goku didn't stop kissing him, not caring, too absorbed in the warmth of Sanzo's mouth and the heat of his dick where it rubbed Goku's own dick and belly. Sanzo clutched him tight, blunt fingernails digging into the soft flesh of his shoulders and sides, then shifted to rut his erection into the cleft of Goku's ass. He actually gaped in devastation when Goku paused kissing him and held his face, rubbing his cheek and pressing his forehead to Sanzo's. “Is this enough for ya? Am I enough for ya?”

Sanzo gave his ass another fervent squeeze, nipped at his lower lip, and husked back, “I could use more.” He kneaded Goku's ass, clearly reveling in the soft, tender, thick flesh and muscle, then teased his hole. Goku keened and leaned back into the touch, heart racing at the thought of Sanzo wanting him. Sanzo worked a hand into the pocket of his denims and showed Goku the tube of lubricant, wordlessly reassuring him that he had it, before pouring some onto his fingers and pushing his middle finger in first, curving it with the line of Goku's spine, and Goku felt it like an electric shock that lit up every nerve. He cried out, but Sanzo sealed his mouth over Goku's and swallowed his wail, then worked his finger into him a few times and whispered into his mouth:

“Your body feels so perfect. You are perfect like this.” Sanzo pushed a second finger in and kissed Goku again to cover his whimpers and moans. Goku tried to relax, but every kiss made him clench around Sanzo's fingers, even as he worked the third digit in. Sanzo brushed his prostate, and Goku had to cant his head back and shout, grinding himself down into his hand.

“Sanzo, please!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sanzo smirked as he pulled his fingers out and used the lube still on his hand to slick his dick. “Impatient.” He shot Goku a quick look. “Is this how you want me to take you?”

“Mhm. Let me show you my power.” Goku grinned with all his teeth, then lifted his hips, gripped Sanzo's shoulder to steady himself, and guided himself down onto Sanzo's cockhead. Sanzo held the base of his dick as Goku pushed the tip in and stopped. Sanzo gave him an expectant look, but Goku just smirked and squeezed his passage around the head of Sanzo's dick and made Sanzo gasp.

“Fuck, you tease--!”

Goku pushed himself down to the base of Sanzo's dick, settling his full weight into his lap, and both of them moaned at the sensation of completion. “Fuck,” Goku whispered, and squeezed around Sanzo's dick a few times, then carefully rocked. Sanzo moaned, leaning back on his elbows as Goku's thick thighs straddled and pinned him in place, but now that he was looking at Goku, he couldn't tear his eyes away.

Sanzo, captive under Goku's strong legs and captivated by his glow in the low light, was reveling in Goku's power, Goku's strength, his sturdy body, his perfect curves. He curved his hand around Goku's ass and kneaded the thick flesh as Goku rolled up and down Sanzo's dick in little rocks. “You're so sexy when you look at me like that.” Goku grinned, though it was a cheesy line and he was breathless with pleasure. “You know what I like about this?” He paused, grinding down against the base of Sanzo's dick and running a hand over his round middle. “I'm full of you. So full, Sanzo. Look how full you make me.”

Sanzo choked, wide-eyed. “Goku--!”

“Don't hold back.” Goku squeezed his eyes shut and rutted down into Sanzo faster, harder. “I wanna feel you fill me all the way, everything!” He kissed Sanzo again. “And you wanna do it, so do it!”

Sanzo gasped and gripped Goku's hips, and Goku felt his cock pulse, then erupt. He rutted down a few times, his dick squeezed between them until white light blinded him and he spilled into the space between them. Sanzo went slack under him, face relaxed in the way Goku only saw after a really, really good orgasm. As he eased himself back and felt Sanzo's come running down the back of his legs, he was doubly reassured.

“That was so good.” Goku sank back over Sanzo's lap, then leaned his head on Sanzo's shoulder. Sanzo hummed into his breast. “You... you felt so good...”

“You did too.” Sanzo kissed his shoulder. “Now get off me, you're heavy.” Goku chuckled and stood, pigeon-toed and wincing a little as Sanzo ran out of him, and Sanzo caressed his hip, his touch boneless and soft. “You can be as heavy as you want after the journey.” Sanzo's eyelashes fluttered, eyes shut, and Goku realized Sanzo was imagining him bigger. Then, he shook his head and sat forward over the edge of the bed to take Goku's hand. “But after tonight, we get you back to how you were. I like your head attached to your body, and you were slower on your feet.”

“Not too slow for you tonight, though, huh?” Goku grinned through his embarrassment, then kissed the back of Sanzo's hand. “You know, you work me like you just worked me every night, maybe I can lose it a little faster.”

Sanzo scoffed. “I don't need to lose weight.” He patted Goku's thigh. “Go clean up, then come to bed. We can enjoy what we have for now for as long as we can.”

“Yeah.” Goku wiped his forehead, then ran his hand down his pudgy chest and round belly. Sanzo clicked his tongue, and slid his hand up Goku's side.

He didn't have to say anything. Goku felt warm and whole again, like Sanzo had filled his mind with light and helped balance him out. Even as Goku shuffled to the washroom to clean the remnants of their lovemaking, he felt like he understood everything a little better.

Hakkai had talked about the balance in the mind. If Seiten Taisei was the id, and everything else was the superego crushing those instincts, he had to find the ego in the middle to walk the path where he was happiest.

All he had to do was walk towards Sanzo, at whatever pace he could, and he'd make his way somehow. Sanzo would take him however he was. That would meet his needs perfectly.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a stuffing kink story. Please let me know what you thought.


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